It’s taken me just about a month to finally come back to a baseline and a Brooke I’m familiar with. And as it is with a lot of hard hitting situations there’s a slight difference in the way I view things.
In my quick recap of the event I mentioned that sales were less than ideal for me despite this market supposed to have been my biggest one I’d do yet. And despite all of the love and energy I poured into it.
As I’ve had plenty of time to process this situation and there’s one huge learning I can gather from this. I put too much stock into what people thought about my makes. Yes, sales are important and what people think dictates sales. However, I put my worth and value in the hands of shoppers. I went into this market with a shaky self perspective and left myself dependent on other peoples actions to validate me. Let’s just say it showed itself big time with all of the uncomfortable feelings you can imagine.
I ended up needing to cancel my next market so that I could take some time away and get my head straight. Time at the lake, paired with lots of yoga and meditation were crucial for me being open to the opportunity that was presenting itself. The opportunity to heal a part of me I was ignoring. That inner dialogue fueled by fear, shame and self doubt. It’s now a little easier for me to see when I’m truly proud of myself, centered in my worth and when I’m looking for others to tell me that.
On the surface level, this sewing adventure is great for expressing my creativity and allowing me to keep my hands making. And deeper than that it's a path for some substantial inner growth. The hidden gems of sewing keep revealing themselves. So many years ago when I was sewing in my parents basement I had no idea how much this craft would be my teacher and help me grow towards my best version of myself.